Sherlock's Nonexistent Heart
by Twenty2Point8
Summary: "I'll burn the heart out of you"  Does Sherlock have a heart to burn?
1. Chapter 1: Holmes is where the Heart is

**Sherlock's Nonexistent Heart **

**A/N: **My first Sherlock fanfic, wrote while watching The Great Game.

Sherlock feels.

We can see the emotion on his face in the Great Game, when the old lady dies and when he see's John walk around that corner at the swimming pool and for a spilt seconds thinks he may have been the bomber.

So while watching the Great Game, this came to mind. Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

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Sherlock did not have a heart.

If he had a heart that would mean Sherlock had a weakness, and Sherlock could not have weaknesses.

But just because he didn't have a heart did not mean he couldn't feel, oh he could feel, he felt everything... Sherlock just never showed that he could feel.

No one knew and no one could ever know, not even the one man who was responsible for making Sherlock feel.

Sherlock spent every day with John, and everyday John surprised him and surprising Sherlock was not something that just anyone could do, every time John surprised Sherlock he felt more and more and one day without Sherlock realizing it (which of course never happened and he will never admit to it... ever) he felt love for this man.

Sherlock of course had never been in love or loved anyone or anything before so it had taken him awhile to diagnose the symptom's (he goggled it, he will not admit that either) and the result was love... apparently

It had been many years since he first realised he feft love for his doctor, and every minute of every day Sherlock loved him and every minute of everyday John never knew the love the other man felt.

Sherlock often thought to himself (he used to believe that he was the only one worth talking to, besides his skull).

Moriarty was right he did have a heart he just wasn't in possession of it.

John was.

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**A/N: **Thank you for taking the time and reading my little story.


	2. Chapter II: Comfort

Sherlock's Nonexistent Heart

**Chapter II: Comfort...**

_Sherlock finds comfort after realising he has a heart._

**A/N: **This was never meant to happen, but it did and here it is.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

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A few years had gone by since Sherlock had deduced that he actually had a heart and that he had somehow given it to his doctor John Watson.

Many things had happen, cases where solved, meals were eating (or in Sherlock's case pushed around on his plate), people came into his life and left again, but the main constant in his life was John...

Then one unexpectedly cold summer day John asked him a simple everyday question.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Nothing unusual about that but John wouldn't look Sherlock in the eye he was twitching nervously. Sherlock just looked at John, stared at him around 30 seconds later John spoke still not looking at him.

"I've asked Sarah to marry me." Still Sherlock said nothing.

"She said yes." John finally looked at Sherlock "I love her Sherlock and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know you don't understand but I love her."

Oh how Sherlock understood but never the one to show his hand he let John go.

Oh they still worked together and Sherlock still loved John, they just didn't live together. It hurt Sherlock more than he'd cared to admit even to himself, especially after a case when John wouldn't come home with him.

Sherlock did find comfort in unexpected person Lestrade, Sherlock would break into Lestrade's flat and watch the sleeping Detective Inspector to gain comfort in anything. He was the only person Sherlock knew (beside himself and John) that he had a high opinion of and actually liked...

On the first night Sherlock appeared in Lestrade's bedroom, Lestrade hadn't noticed Sherlock until he tripped over his sleeping body on the floor next to his bed his first thought was _'I must be dreaming'_.

The next time Lestrade found Sherlock lying next to his bed was two months later, two weeks after that Sherlock was back again but this time Lestrade decided to find out what was going on so he waited for him but when Sherlock arrived he just sat on the chair next to Lestrade's bed that he had bought so Sherlock wouldn't be sitting on the floor. Sherlock knew Lestrade was awake but he didn't want to leave so he sat there in the chair the entire night.

The next time Lestrade had a case for Sherlock he slipped his spare key in the case file, Lestrade still couldn't figure out how Sherlock keep slipping into his fifth story flat or why... and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

In all the time that this had been happening they never spoke about why Sherlock turned up at his place in the middle of the night, nearly every night.

He figured it's a Sherlock thing, but no matter what Sherlock thought he isn't a stupid man he knew John had something to do with Sherlock's strange behaviour, but Lestrade never asked and Sherlock never answered and to be honest Lestrade didn't want to know, he liked that Sherlock came to him in his hours of need it made him feel special. It made the two of them have a connection that no one else had and to have this with such a great man as Sherlock, well it made Lestrade feel like a teenage boy again.

He anticipated going to sleep every night because he would be able to be close to this unique man. But Lestrade knew that his was all Sherlock would be able to give him and her took it greedily.

It had now been a year since the first time Sherlock had broken into Lestrade flat, Sherlock had never spoken when he was over sometimes he would be asleep when Lestrade woke up but gone before he got out of the loo. Sometimes he would be gone before he woke up, but Lestrade would always know when he'd been there it had become a sort of a sixth sense, he always knew. But even though he left differently he always arrived around the same time, Lestrade would always be in bed sometimes asleep sometimes feigning sleep but it was always be in the early hours of the morning.

But today was different he woke up to find Sherlock sitting on his bed, in all the time Sherlock had been in his bedroom he had never gone near the bed let alone sitting on it, Lestrade shifted into a sitting position and looked at Sherlock he could see all the pain Sherlock was feeling that he wouldn't let himself feel during the day. Sherlock looked at Lestrade dead in the eye "It kills me inside every time I see him with her, when he doesn't come back to Barker Street." Sherlock paused still looking at Lestrade trying to find the words that would make him understand. "Being here makes it better, if only for a little while."

And for the first time Lestrade saw Sherlock smile.

How beautiful.

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**A/N: **To be Continued.

Please review.


	3. Chapter III: The End

**Sherlock's Nonexistent Heart **

**Chapter III: The End...**

**A/N: **This is the final chapter to Sherlock's Nonexistent Heart and as we all know he really does have one, a warning it's a little angst-y. I hope you enjoy

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

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A decade had come and gone, once young men are now older gentlemen.

But do you really think that changed them in the slightest? They still solved case, they still couldn't get Sherlock to eat anything while working on a case, and they still lived in the places they did when they were young.

But many things had also changed mainly with Sarah, she had became very ill and John being the doctor that he was made her go get a check up, it was cancer. Sarah died one week after she was diagnosed John and Sarah had been married five years at the time of her death.

Sherlock was the first person John rang and spoke to after she died, he asked if he could move back to 221b Baker Street because he couldn't handle being in the house that he and Sarah had built together. Sherlock told him of course he could move back in (Sherlock hadn't be up to his room since John moved out).

John arrived a few hours after their conversation with a handful of his belongings, Sherlock couldn't handle seeing John so broken so he made a 'believable' excuse ("We need some milk I'll go get some from the store") and went straight to Lestrade's. Sherlock debated for a few minutes before climbing into bed with the man who helped him escape from all the pain that love caused him.

Lestrade thought he was having a very pleasant dream with the warmth from another body besides him and something very large digging into his back...

He nearly had a heart attack when he woke to find a real life Sherlock snuggling up to him with a hard on, definitely not a dream. Sherlock of course left when Lestrade had his back turned, walking back to baker street (without milk) Sherlock reflected on his life wondering how his life had became to loving a man who didn't love him and taking comfort in a man that loved him. But that was what Sherlock's life had come to and that is how he lived year after year.

Things had become a little better for Sherlock now that John was back home at Baker Street but he could still tell that John wished to be with her instead of with him, he had also went to Lestrade's less and less over the years.

Sherlock went without going to his place for six months but that made him realise that he missed being there. Sherlock decided that life and feelings were too complicated and he didn't need those feelings anymore, he played violin for a marathon six hours to try and figure it all out, it didn't work and he was still as confused as ever which made him throw a massive tantrum and his violin out the window to bad the window was shut at the time...

He spent the entire day freezing waiting for John to get home so he could give him a phone (He might have throw his phone out the window also, it was a gift from Mycroft!) so he could get someone around to fix the window, John wasn't too impressed when he got home, ah the joys of living with Sherlock but that's the life they lived and he accepted it.

Then one day everything changed.

Sherlock had spent the entire day at the hospital waiting for news on the condition of John Watson. Earlier that day, John had been yelling at Sherlock for using all the milk and not buying any more, John then stoped suddenly and looked at Sherlock he gripped his chest and fell to the ground. And Sherlock had been at the hospital ever since waiting...

After waiting for five hours Sherlock was able to finally able to see John. Sherlock walked onto the hospital room and up to John.

"There's something I need to tell you, and I feel now is the right moment to tell you." Sherlock took John's hand into his own "this might come as a shock to you but I realised shortly after our first encounter with Moriarty that I do have a heart and I gave it to you." A tear ran down Sherlock's face as he looked into the dead eyes of the man he loved.

Sherlock went to Lestrade's that night... he hasn't left since.

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**A/N: **Well that's it this didn't turn out at all what I expected, Lestrade wasn't meant to be in this story at all and he turned out more of a main character than John! Oh well the joys of writing fanfiction I guess.

Please review, and tell me what you think.


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